"Blessed are they who mourn; for they will be comforted."
Mt. 5:4
Nobody likes to think about death and funerals. However, it makes sense to plan ahead for our own funerals. Then, once the arrangements have been made, we can put the whole matter out of our mind for good. Furthermore, after we're gone, our loved ones are not left to wonder painfully what we might have wanted.
The Rector of the Epiphany would be pleased to sit down with you and help you to do this, discussing any concerns you might have.
The church is the place where we worship and seek God in all the seasons of life. It is appropriate that we should bring our sorrow here as well. We do so with the expectation that, in the familiar surroundings in which we have received ministry Sunday by Sunday, God will minister to us again.
Our emphasis at the Epiphany is to provide worship which is dignified in its simplicity. During the service the casket is draped with a funeral pall. This means there is no need to purchase an expensive casket which can run to many thousands of dollars and will, in a short time, be buried or reduced to ashes. While flowers are always decorative, it is best to limit them to just a couple of arrangements. When placing the death announcement in the newspaper, encourage people to give the money they would have spent on flowers to an appropriate charity.
It is not generally the custom in the Anglican Church for clergy to deliver a eulogy during the service. The reasoning behind this is that the purpose of a Christian funeral is not to glorify the deceased but to glorify God who has raised Jesus from the grave, thereby giving us hope for eternal life. Also, a funeral is no time for a popularity contest. The clergy, if they delivered eulogies, would tend, naturally, to speak more glowingly about some than others. There would also, over time, be a tendency toward exaggeration and even distortion of the facts. For these reasons, the clergy deliver not eulogies hut homilies in which the Christian hope is restated.
It is, however, sometimes appropriate, and even desirable, for a family member or friend to share a few words about the deceased. This can personalize the service and provide the opportunity to articulate some important feelings.
It is important that hymns at a funeral service be familiar ones, since many who attend may be from other church traditions or may have little or no church background at all. At the same time, the hymns should focus on Christ, on his presence with us and on his power to raise the dead. Hymns such as "The Lord's my Shepherd" and "Abide with me" are often sung at funeral services and have a powerful message. (Look especially at the last two verses of "Abide with me" for a wonderful testimony to Christ's power, written by a dying man.) There are, however, many other great hymns to choose from. Consider:
The Book of Alternative Services (page 604) and The Book of Common Prayer (pages 595 and 608-610) both have a selection of suggested readings for the service. There are many passages of scripture which give hope and assurance of Christ's gift of eternal life.
Here are some psalms that would be appropriate for a funeral service: Psalms 23, 46, 90, 103 (or some section of it), 121, 130, 139, and 145.
These are some Bible readings you might think of using:
That's the hardest part. In the first days after the death, there has been so much to think about, so many plans to be made and so many people expressing their sympathies. Now, it's all quiet and the hard reality of your bereavement sets in.
Do not hesitate to call your clergy. They understand that when all the guests have gone home, you still need someone with whom to talk, express your grief, plan for the future, and pray..
If you would like more information, please feel free to call the Epiphany at 675-2279.